2009 I remember laying in bed, the alarm buzzing obnoxiously in the background as I opened my eyes and thought, “Really, God? Again?” The night before, I had made a bargain with Him as I cried myself to sleep, that I would fall asleep and never wake up, a stroke, a brain aneurysm, anything peaceful. Apparently, He hadn’t kept up with His part of the bargain, because the sun was shining in my eyes and the puffy feeling in my face from ugly crying was proof that this was no